Do you use duct tape and electrical tape at work to make flowers? Do you strip Twist Grip Sensors and amps to salvage the wire to make stems for flowers? Do you rip up paper and reuse it for paper mache and making seed paper? Do you save all your sewing/quilting scraps for stuffing pillows and scrap quilts? Yeah me neither...
If you're here you either are a friend of my mom and trying to make me feel good that all my hard work on this website isn't in vain OR the name caught your attention and maybe, possibly you have a crafting problem too. Obsessive Crafting Disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. Except when someone wants to come visit the house & you're rushing around trying to hide your paraphernalia. What used to be my living room is now my yarn and paper crafting room, both my spare bedrooms are for fabric storage room and my sewing/quilting rooms. My dining room is where I stack my prototypes and my table has seen more quilt assemblies than meals. More often than not if I'm not cooking in my kitchen I'm paper mache-ing, making bath and body products, making paper or prepping surfaces. Seriously the only reason I pay an extravagant amount of rent for a house bigger than I need is for my crafting. So I either have a crafting problem or..ummm...yeah...
So until I can find a very generous benefactor that wants to buy me a house on like 5 acres for free or give me my own place I'm here making this work. So before you go any further let me add a disclaimer: Don't be butt hurt here. This is MY safe place, not yours. I make people butt hurt, I hurt feels, I'm bound to offend you in some unintended but hilarious (to me) way and I have a sense of humor that is a odd mixture of sarcasm, disbelief in the stupidity of some people, intelligence, passive aggressive martyr syndrome and a dash of bitch. So if you don't like something then just leave, or don't and I will eviscerate you in writing, repeatedly and probably make some pretty fucking hilarious memes. Moving on now that that's outta the way!
12 Steps of Craftaholics
- We admitted we were powerless over crafting-that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity or at least get us organized and focused.
- Made a decision to turn our stashes and our supplies over to the care of "God" as we understood "Him" if only he'd let us sleep and send us little crafting elves to help get us caught up. Actually also add in perfect brows, a better metabolism, lots of patience and an unlimited crafting fund. Maybe a sugar daddy to fund new equipment too and a maid, definitely a maid and a chef.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our Works In Progress and crafting supplies. Except that stash, we don't talk about THAT stash.
- Admitted to "God", to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs so long as it has nothing to do with our Obsessive Crafting Disorder, hording and hiding yarn, paper, fabric, thread, glue sticks, starch, rotary blades, finances or storage issues.
- Were entirely ready to have "God" remove all these. . .never mind we'll skip this step for now and maybe sketch something or make a list of something and think about possibly one day maybe removing something that's crafting related.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our. . .umm. . .we're totally skipping this one too, we just don't like the negative connotations of the word remove. Reminds us of seam ripping and that is just rage inducing and we're trying to get better here. So if we need pain to recover lets try stepping on a needle or cutting off unimportant chunk of skin on our fingers with a rotary cutter.
- Made a list of all projects unfinished and became willing to finish them all. Eventually.
- Made direct amends to the people we've neglected, materials wasted and housework ignored whenever possible, except when to do so would cause us to get further behind on our current projects.
- Continued to take in copious amounts of caffeine and when we made mistakes promptly upcycled them.
- Sought through prayer and meditation (or medication?) to improve our conscious contact, praying only for caffeine, focus, steady hands and a clear mind.
- Having had an epiphany as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Craftaholics and to practice these fantastical ideas in all our projects.